


hott hanilton snut one shoots ;))

by hellothisispizzahut



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Crack, Daddy Kink, Multi, Smut, also warning for a goddamn 22 year age gap between wash and ham, because fuck thinly veiled pedophilia im making fun of it, hott, if that freaks you out please skip the first chapter, in fact skip the entire thing, its not mentioned but, just kink in general, please dont take this seriously it would be too hard, son kink, the daddy kink is also a warning tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-21 22:05:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6059740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellothisispizzahut/pseuds/hellothisispizzahut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>wake me up (i can't wake up)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> do i have any excuse for this

washington was ten foot t2aller. hamilltoon was feeling like a fucjing submissivive. whatever the fuck that meant in the revolution.   
anyw8ay. alexilton was in washing machine's office brcause some business shit no one cares about.   
so washhingdon sayd  
"succ my dickle dongle."   
he whipped (and nae naed) his cock out. hamstring fainted becausd holy fick that was some big cock,.  
then he woke up inder washinngtoone's thhighs. "s o n" washing dishes saud. hamslice was about to cry because of how beeautifil that fucking peniss was but instead he just ate it kill me what is this


	2. the sequel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> save me from the nothing ive become

wait for it wait for it ok my nbame is aaaaaaron burrrr and i hate that fyckin slice of ham and he needs to shut up so im gonna put my dick in his mouth it's the perfect plann so he w2as in the library that fuicking nerd and i sayd

"shut up for fckn sake" and he was writinkg because this is a baron aurr/alexilton fic and in eveey single one of them alex is writing

and axel said "no" or some smartass comment like that.

i growlled and turned intoo a c,at. i have evolved into my **final formm**. so i turned back into a humanitarian, because im not a fckn furry or some shit. i shoved my dick in his ear hole and hamslice meows. what the fuck


	3. ooo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess who got hihg again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i apologize

dear diary it's me eliza! ! today me and axel got marrieded, so we did sex; (angstgelikia and puggly told me to because we did Girl Talk) and oooh boi it was dang hott, like fried a egg

so we were in the altar at like three in the mourning becahsr we are still married happpy and wanted to celebtate with konky secs

so i sad "when we gon do it?" and he sad "shit" (he cursed!!! what a bad boy ;(((()) "hang on" and he pulled out a condom out of his ass. and i sayd,  
"u was redy? boi htat is hot. but we can't do the thing;" and his eyelids pouted and he did, "but we gotta" and i sayd "no my pussy belongs to jesus amen,"

and then his eyebrows raised up to his hairline¿ an he did "how bout i do it in,,, anus"

i was shockded!!! how could i, a small town girl in a big world, let him do the anusal?? i said, 'no.7 you can do oral presentations on the fiscal policy of andrew jackson tho"

he moaned an erotic melon noise and said "ok" and went down to my va-jay-jay but I stopped him

"no not there" and i brought my elbow up to his nose because sododomy is illegal and i am a Law Aboding Citizen  
he licked it with his eyelashes and impregnated me it was hoot


	4. chatper for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im back and stronger than ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why am i updating this??? why cant i let it die. be free

burr saysd "hey hamiljpkn. i just saw you have an affair but did you hear about this dead guy"

"no not rlly im in the middle of a debt plan" the hamil man said coyly mischevoously but also read for deaths

"oh. well someone died. kinda wanna die too"

"fam me too. i gtg" 

burrp is kinda worried about hamslicetone going to the wrath of thomas jefferson and that other guy (jerry madonna i think)but also wants in on that action. its really 50/50

but now we're going to suddenly change the perspective because fuck you youre a piece of shit i fucking hate this 

Hi my name is Alexander Hamilton and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with black streaks and black tips that reaches my neck and brown eyes like something brown and a lot of people tell me I'm like Macbeth (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to George Washington but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie

one day hamlitone was doing some treasury of state shit and damn jeffer SON sayd: "hey we gonna have that meeting or wot" (he had an obnoxious britifrench accent alaxdendber hated him) and ham said back "go fuck yourself. but ya lol"

so ton (thats hamilton but shorter) got there and they sat there for two days talking about econonomics (they know the politics :00000) and jefferson was like "yeah ok banks are fine"

"nice. now i can stop fucking maria reynolds"

"yeah i kno lmfao but also suck my dick"

"what no"

"suck my dicc or no money"

"i dont feel comfortable with this. no"

"oh ok. im so sorry i misinterpreted your answer. i wont cross your boundaries again and i wont do anything you say no to"

we're not entirely sure if that jimmy madagascar guy actually did anything here. he mightve made a sandwich and said something disdainfullyful at one point


	5. chtapter fove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had to look at the wikipedia of the digestive system for this

hamlytone wanted attention as usual. this is because he's a tom cat and he is not only wnating attention (like a tom cat) but is also purring. like some furry

but but also was he busy because he writes like he's running out of thyme and this fic cannot fuckignnfj have hamilton not being busy. i fucjifng refuse. he has to be busy but also a slut. do i want the kudos or not

so he was purring (that rhymes with burring, which is closely related to the word burr, and im smart) and whining but also resisting sex because george well washed manning told him to write a declaration of neutrality letter to the house of representatives in london the size of his dick. jesus christ he has a lot to write

so laurens is not fucking having this shit. he cha cha slides up to hamilton and whispers licks in his ear "ey babby girl slut u want me to grow three dicks to put in your exocrine gland"

"mmmyymmmhmgmmgmhm yeahhhh boi use me like a FUCKING DIRTY WHORE i have self esteem issues and need to cope but i cant because the great washing machine told me specifically not to fuck anyone while working"

"ok we cant piss daddy off huh..,,,......;;;;;))))))"

"yeah exactly. fuck that shit though lmao now im turned off mmm lick my pancreas please ;0"

laurens stuck a dick (grew it himself, organic, no laxatives or artificialally flave or eeng) in alexander's leg asshole while he wondered how the fuck hamilton said ;0 out loud

"mmmmmmmmmm yeah baby girl you like it ruff (and t-u-f-f)"

"yep, sure do, sport. i mean. adult boy. are those your roles"

"we went over this. my role is a sexually frustrated gremlin who eats only sex to live and your role is a prostitute who needs to give me sex in order for you to live"

"oh yeah thas right. thats so fucked up with ideas of consent and insulting to sex workers i cant even begin"

"we need these fucking kudos goddamndangit"

"okay my dear boy honey sweet umbrella lizard husband laurens"

little did they know. that burr is whatchign this. he was inside a pencil costume and pretended to be hamilton's pencil the entire time. because burr is an unfunny creep and we will refuse to elaborate on that idea because fuck you i fucking hate you you piece of shit


End file.
